this one is ONLY for the ladies....

which i'm sure means that every MAN is now reading it. LOL

but dude. you were warned.

you're still here?  ok then.

last chance to leave if you have a Y chromosome.

in

3.....

2.....

1.....

go.

(Men.... I am now actively ignoring that you are stubbornly continuing to read, and if you're damaged for life for reading this.  too bad.  i told you to go.)

Dearest Ladies,
My sisters from another mister.
Why do periods exist?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

I'm soooooooooo upset!  And i'm know i'm not being rational.  at ALL.

which is part of the gloriousness of our bodies and what they do once a month.

hip.
hip.
hooray.

but I took my week 11 update video last night, and I could already see all the water retention I would be battling this week.  the difference between week 10 video  and week 11 is UNBELIEVABLE. (i know i know... you haven't seen them yet.  but you will.  YOU WILLLLL.  they will both be uploaded this week together, back to back, with week 12)

back to my whining....

i'm so PUFFY in week 11. SOOOO PUFFFFFYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

and then... this morning I woke up.  and i'm not kidding you.  I look like someone took a tire pump and inflated my face!!!!

And i feel like - any other week - ok.. no worries. just keep working at it. Sweet Leah, calm down.  Water doesn't stay forever.

(ok that's a LIE from the pit of hell. any other week, and i'd STILL be moaning.  but.... but... but...)

But THIIIISSSSS week - it's not just water from just like... eating a salty meal.  it's hormones.  it's bloating in every nook and cranny.  and it's my stupid hormones!!!!  AND it's my BIRTHDAY GOAL week.... WAHHHH!!  and my freaking hormones are on a rampage!!!!!!  i feel like i just wanna push over a table full of glass tchotchkes and watch them shatter to a billion pieces.  and then get some boots on and stomp them even more.  and then kick a few across the room.  and punch a teddy bear in the gut.

why?

hormones... and bloating.   ya follow?

SO.

yep.  I think my hormones are just a teeny bit out of whack today. I'm living in the most extreme hyperbole portion of my brain and this is going to be the worst birthday of my LIFE.  and quite possibly i'll never ever ever lose another pound again. like - ever. from now until the end of time!!!!!

because rationality has been mercilessly DROWNED in a rolling sea of sucky water retention.