pain in the butt - literally

murphy's law:  if anything can go wrong - it will go wrong.

lele's law - if it's a rare, random, strange and painful sydrome - i will develop it.

Had a migrane for 5 days once, when it finally went away - it left me with a strange spot in my vision. Went to the ophthamologist - discovered I had some really rare disorder in my eye.  He made 5 additional appointments for me to come back.  After not seeing any change in my condition after the first 3 appointments (but noticing more and more ophthamologists joining us for my "treatments") I asked - soooooo.... when am I going to see some improvement?

The doctor actually spoke these words to me.  i kid you not.

"Oh!  We can't do anything to treat your eye.  But this is so rare - we have only seen this in text books.  We're just studying it!"

I .....wish ......you could have seen my face. 

it was a cross between:

1.  do i have "specimen" tattoed on my forehead?
2.  i guess they give degrees for ophthamology AND narcissism - because YOU, sir, have Ph.D.'s in both.
3.  AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!

right!  so......  no more appointments were kept by me. I didn't even bother to call and cancel.  I assumed Dr. "let me charge you to study you" would figure it out!

  But apparently they have lovely pictures now of the back of my retina.  Who knows - my retina is probably famous by now.  And isn't that what's most important, folks?  I ask you! 

THE POINT IS.....

weird things happen to my body.  this is not uncommon for me.  and i have a new one.

it's called "pain in the butt" syndrome.

hey Bart - I need a butt cast too!!!!! LOL

LOL no - it's not really.  It's called "piriformis syndrome".  and like my retinal disorder, and like the unicorn, and like the zero-calorie caramel apple...... it is apparently rare and/or non-existent.   A syndrome that doctors and researchers can't even agree on or compile universally agreed-upon criteria.  

well!  hallelujah for me. 

i can assure you.  it is real.

The piriformis is a small muscle that stretches from the back of your pelvis to your femur, and you would never know it existed - until it announced its existence to you.  Piriformis syndrome is related to sciatica..... but it's not sciatica.  cuz carrying my three children during pregnancy introduced me to sciatica - and its NOT sciatica. but the two are intertwined.  sometimes the sciatic nerve runs through the piriformis muscle - which gives you more FUN symptoms.   

it is literally - a pain in my butt. LOLOL   and that tiny little muscle can get irritated on certain people, especially those who run.

and yesterday i ran like the wind, Bullseye! I was running like an Ethiopian marathon runner.  hair was flying in the breeze. music in my ears. stride - fully extended. pace - amazing.   i probably looked like i was going to DIE. but in my mind's eyeeeeeeee (*ahem* ALL that is important)..... i was Flo Jo.

and while you're running - you feel great! maybe you feel a teeny tiny bit of rubbing - but nothing that warrants stopping - i mean... you're recording your pace!!!!  if there's no crying in baseball - there's no stopping in running.  the end.   

until you cross the finish line.  the crowd roars.  you wave to your fans.... and then -  AYE!

all of the sudden - its like your hip bones - or something - has rubbed through the muscle and through the skin and is poking out of your body and just staring at you.  like - "oh hey Le!  am i supposed to be outside of the body like this?  it's a little chilly out here.  can you push me back in?"

yes, i certainly will.  as soon as the burning hot poker that is searing my flesh abates.  i'll get RIGHT to that.

SO yep!  my piriformis muscle is a jerk.  i didn't have this problem before my pregnancies - so i really do suspect that as my hips moved during pregnancies (and lovely little things that they are - decided to NOT move back - thanks hips!)  that piriformis muscle pulled tighter across the back of my pelvis.   which makes me think that stretching - especially after a run when my muscles are warm -should help significantly. which i will do.

when i walked my 1000 miles (another fun journey!), I developed plantar fasciitis.  which was the EXACT same burning hot poker pain - but in my heels.  (another RMI - repetitive motion injury)  and i learned some really good stretches and eased off all that walking for a bit.   - and it's NEVER come back.  

and i'm so glad - cuz that was AWFUL. 

but i suspect i need to give running a break for a while.  and that's ok.  I'll be stretching in the meantime and trying to make that muscle a little bit more pliable and happy!  happy happy piriformis.

i have questions for you!   

1.  ladies who have had 3 or more pregnancies.  (because i hear that it's after the 3rd pregnancy - your hips rebel and decide they will not return to pre-pregnancy width. LOL)   is there absolutely ANYTHING that you can do - at this stage (my last pregnancy was 13 years ago) to make your hips go back?!? hahahaha  and though part of this is definitely because.... who doesn't want smaller hips!?!?!  the OTHER part of this is - i really do suspect that this new syndrome of mine is because that muscle is being stretched across a wider hip width. and while normal walking all these years hasn't triggered any pain  - i think my newfound journey into running is triggering it. 

and 2.  anyone else suffer with this?  After doing research - it seems that everyone's experience with this is so varied - which is why i suspect it's hard for doctors and researchers to nail down the symptoms and the treatments.  But i would LOVE to hear if anyone has this - WHAT HAS WORKED to alleviate it??? 

Thanks!!!!  you don't have to comment - you can send me a private email (there is a contact form up top)  but comments are great because then other people who have the same problems can read what worked for you and add their own suggestions!