Life, death, and the journey in between...

(No video this week... just the weigh in and update)

I've been working hard this week.  Not too hard - but definitely much more focused on choices this third week.  It's interesting what happens psychologically as you get each day further into any lifestyle change.

especially when it's a lifestyle change that overthrows some "dictators" that you've allowed to rule in your heart and life way too long.

but that's another post for another time... ;)

Everyone always says "don't worry about the scale.  Watch how your clothes fit.  Look at the way your body is changing."

yep.  i get it.  Those are not difficult words to comprehend.

but there is something about seeing those numbers on the scale that makes it FEEL so much more tangible than trying to detect the smallest changes in your body.

trying very hard to not be consumed with those numbers - but it feels very good to see them going in the right direction!

this week - i was battling a little *ahem*  "water retention".... and so when I weighed myself earlier in the week, i was irritated and disappointed and even though I KNEW that i would probably see a difference on the scale and did feel quite bloated.... i still didn't want to see those numbers going back up.

and i got moody.  i didn't stop working out or eating right - which is what i was tempted to do - "after all," ( you tell yourself...)  "what good is it if i work out so hard just to have the numbers go back up?!?!  i might as well just eat what i want then!"

silly silly rabbit.  trix are for kids.

so - i didn't let those tricks bother me.  I did stay irritable.  LOL  but that was probably due to other things... but i kinda also kicked myself in the butt.

Like - "really, Leah?  THIS is what you're going to choose to be upset about?  Just keep working out, do what you're supposed to do - you're body will get back on board soon - and then we'll be over this little hump... but quit whinin about it!"  incidentally - my weigh in this morning was back on target and i lost another 1.4 pounds this week.  that's 6.9 total in 3 weeks.  :) 

but there is  nothing like a little perspective adjustment to help that process.  illness and death seem to be clinging to this world lately - like a shroud.  Nothing like a shock to the heart to help you remember that time is short, and the things we choose to whine about start to look really silly in the face of real loss.

I lost a dear friend yesterday.  A sweet, tender, funny, hard-working, talented, important friend.  He took a piece of my heart when he left.  But thankfully, he left me with enough memories filled with laughter (the kind that makes you wheeze and see spots before blacking out hehe)  to last a lifetime.

This morning I'm looking forward to working out.  To celebrate my ability to work out - cuz not everyone has that ability.  Death, illness, injury... lots of things can rip blessings away from us. I have the privilege of working out.   Does that sound cheesy?  I'm not sorry if it does.  Life is good.  Time is short. My friend is gone. Thankful for his friendship and what he's left behind.

Miss you P.